Last week, I was at IIT Madras for lunch with the faculty.
The dessert was carrot halwa with ice cream. I scraped the last bits with my spoon, but a little ice cream was left over.
I was torn. I CAN’T POSSIBLY waste it. But can I lick it? In public?
I don’t have a problem licking at home. I lick my fingers. Plates. Bowls. Ladles. The cream on milk. The leftover milk in the glass. (If my tongue doesn’t reach that far, I wipe it with my finger and lick the finger.)
That’s why I like ice cream. It’s MEANT to be licked. So are (in my opinion) cereals, savories, oats, honey, … It’s a long list.
Licking is convenient. My fingers stay clean while I type. (Spoons are impersonal. I avoid them.)
Licking is efficient. I can have every last bit of food AND feel good about not wasting it.
Licking makes my dishwashing easier. (But it can be hard to tell if a dish needs washing.)
But most of all, that last lick TASTES SO WONDERFUL!
Before marriage, licking was fine. But my wife worried about my lack of civilized behavior and hygiene. So I’ve had a crash course over the last 20 years.
My current protocol is: don’t lick when people can see you.
I make commitments but don’t always deliver on time. In 2022, I ran an experiment to find out why I procrastinate.
In Jan-Feb 2022, I listed the top 2 things I wanted to get done each day and measured how often I completed them.
14 Jan. ❌ Summarise from three research reports 12 Jan. ❌ UIFactory experiment ✅ Decide if I am a (…) 11 Jan. ❌ UIFactory experiment ✅ Agree on publishing in (…) 10 Jan. ❌ Client video. ❌ UIFactory experiment 09 Jan. ❌ UIFactory experiment. ❌ Attrition email as a story 07 Jan. ❌ ZS visual 06 Jan. ❌ Release Gramex Guide. ✅ UWC application 05 Jan. ❌ Publish network cluster post. ❌ Release Gramex guide 04 Jan. ❌ Publish network cluster post. ✅ Release Gramex. 03 Jan. ✅ Publish election TDS video. ❌ Publish Network cluster post. 02 Jan. ❌ Publish election TDS video. ❌ Publish Network cluster post. 01 Jan. ❌ Publish Network cluster post. ✅ Finalize SG school.
I completed 23 / 57 things (40%). That’s one of my TOP priorities.
In Mar-Apr 2022, I started micro-journalling to find out why. Whenever I was working on something, I wrote down whenever I started, stopped, or skipped working, and why.
- Tue 01 Mar. ❌ Create React app with any one Vega chart where attributes control chart signals
- 09:30am. Skipped. INTERRUPTED. Shobana. Cleaning bedroom
- 09:50am. Skipped. SCHEDULED. Breakfast
- 10:10am. Skipped. INTERRUPTED. Naveen. Call
- 10:50am. Skipped. DISTRACTED. LinkedIn. 3b1b videos
- 12:30pm. Skipped. SCHEDULED. Calls
- 01:30pm. Skipped. SCHEDULED. Lunch
- 02:00pm. Skipped. INTERRUPTED. Shobana. Cleaning, Dhyeya airtel card
- 02:30pm. Skipped. PROCRASTINATED. Didn't feel like working
- Sat 05 Mar. ❌ Record Jio videos fully. Run productivity log alongside it.
- 09:45am. Skipped. INTERRUPTED. Appa. Investment, music
- 11:00am. Skipped. PROCRASTINATED. Only 2 hours to next call. Let's do it later. Plenty of time tomorrow.
- 01:30pm. Skipped. PROCRASTINATED. Only 30 min to next call. Plenty of time tomorrow.
- 03:45pm. Skipped. PROCRASTINATED. Half day wasted already. It’s OK to take one day off completely.
- Mon 07 Mar. ✅ Record Jio videos fully. Run productivity log alongside it.
- 09:37am. Started. ZEIGARNIK. Was thinking about this since morning.
- 10:00am. Stopped. INTERRUPTED. Naveen. Called
- 10:25am. Started. ZEIGARNIK. Just continued with momentum.
- 01:00pm. Stopped. SCHEDULED. Lunch
- 01:30pm. Started. ZEIGARNIK. Just continued with momentum.
- 03:15pm. Stopped. COMPLETED.
After 2 months, a few patterns emerged.
Why I skip working
Distraction (50%).
Interesting things (22%) were the biggest. Less important things (e.g. programming, browsing/research)
Movies (10%) pulled me away
Email (8%) was fairly common
Organizing things (6%) like my calendar, TODOs, financials, etc.
Social media, interestingly, was not on my list
Procrastination (25%). There were 3 kinds:
It’s hard, and I’m stuck
I don’t feel like doing it
I don’t have time — my next task begins sooner than I can finish
Schedule (14%). I’d scheduled something else for then (usually food)
Interrupted (12%). Usually by family or close colleagues
Why I start working
Zeigarnik effect (68%). I keep thinking about the problem. So even after a break, I just plunge right in
Mindfulness (19%). I got started just by the act of writing the journal
Distraction (9%). Sometimes, distractions work in my favor. A movie gets stuck, or someone pings about the topic, or my mind is processing the problem in the background
Completed (3%). I finished the previous task and the momentum just took me to the next
Why I stop working
Schedule (47%). I have another meeting/task planned at that time
Interruption (35%). This is mostly by colleagues (22%), family (8%), or hunger/thirst (6%)
Exhaustion (10%). I’m just too tired to go on
Distraction (8%). To do this, I need to do THAT first, and I get sucked into THAT
What I learned
The Zeigarnik effect helps me start. Once I start solving something the momentum carries forward. The next best is to write down why I’m not starting it (micro-journalling).
To avoid procrastination, I should eliminate distractions first. Specifically, use a new Virtual Desktop, block movies, and block email & notifications.
To avoid schedules interrupting me, I should batch meetings even more tightly, giving me longer or more flexible blocks to work on
The Paper Menagerie. Ken Liu. I cried all the way from the beach to home. The skies joined me. It’s short. Touching. It healed a wound I can’t speak about. The most touching book of 2022.
The Data Detective. Tim Harford. 10 powerful, down-to-earth rules for how to make sense of data, and avoid being fooled. I plan to incorporate every one of these into my talks. The most useful guide to working with data in 2022.
The Extended Mind. Annie Murphy Paul. Explains how we think not just inside our brains, but in our bodies, in our physical environment, and in the people around us. The most effective guide to transforming my thinking in 2022.
Life-changing
Yuval Noah Harari’s Sapiens, Homo Deus and 21 Lessons for the 21st Century. Covers the past, present, and future of humanity, weaving the shared beliefs we’ve crafted — God, money, equality, property rights, happiness, and much more.
Four Thousand Weeks. Oliver Burkeman. We live just 4,000 weeks. When you realize that, time management takes a new meaning. This is the most different time management book I’ve read, and I’ve started writing down stories of what I’ve done with my 4,000 weeks — each week.
The Motive. Patrick Lencioni. Why do you want to stay a CEO? That’s the question this book answers, and in a sentence, it’s about doing the most important stuff that no one else will do. Not the stuff you like, or are good at.
Team of Rivals. Doris Kearns Goodwin. The life of Lincoln and his cabinet. It’s extraordinary to see the path 4 eminent politicians took and the day-to-day decisions each made during the American Civil War.
This is Water. David Foster Wallace. A commencement speech about the importance and power of noticing our blindspots, and making a habit of it.
The Unknown Unknown. Mark Forsyth. A short, witty defense of bookshops. But it’s actually about blindspots and the power of randomness.
Messy. Tim Harford. Explains how messiness is good for creativity and efficiency, with dozens of stories that prove the point.
Interesting
The Conquerer series. Conn Iggulden. The life of Genghis Khan. Factual, but interpolated with imagination. Gripping.
Run 50 experiments. I ran ~20 until April (here are some), but stopped (for no reason). I’ll continue.
Speak at 10 global forums. I delivered 10+ PyCon talks. They were pre-recorded, allowing me to scale. But recording videos and no feedback are boring. I’ll explore how to scale enjoyably.
Be 10X more effective. I improved my calendar effectiveness 2X in Jan. But I realized this is actually efficiency. Not effectiveness. Maybe effectiveness shouldn’t be optimized, but discovered. I’ll continue to ponder.
Run 50 experiments. I’ll learn by disproving my beliefs with measurable tests.
Make 1 change a month in my environment. 90% of our thoughts are shaped by our environment. (Read The Extended Mind.) So I’ll use the remaining 10% to shape my environment.
Calendar integrity. Stick to my calendar. Especially the time I block for myself to work. (This is a 2021 habit I’ve slipped on.)
I’m curious — what’s ONE thing you’d like to do in 2023?
Microsoft ported its PowerPoint Speaker Coach to Teams. Since September, it’s given me suggestions covering 11 hours in 77 calls (I speak ~10 min/call.)
I say “uhh” a lot. That’s intentional
I use the filler word “uhh” in 70% of my calls. That did not surprise me. I do that intentionally.
On a poor network, they know I’m still connected
They know I’m going to say something
I sound less confident. That invites critique I can learn from
But I also use filler words like “You know” and “I mean” in half the calls, and “like”, “actually”, and “basically” in a fifth. That’s NOT intentional, and I’ll be conscious.
Filler words
% of calls
# / call
uhh
70%
3.6
You know
48%
2.4
I mean
43%
2
like
22%
1.4
actually
19%
1
basically
18%
1.2
anyway
14%
1.1
hmm
16%
1.1
umm
9%
1.4
ah
4%
1.3
I say “maybe” a lot. That’s surprising
What did surprise me was “maybe“. I use it every fourth call, but when I do, I say “maybe” ten times per call. That’s a lot of maybe!
Sometimes, I say maybe because I’m communicating uncertainty.
Maybe we’ll have 20-30% success rate…
So and I had to switch 3 laptops or maybe 4.
… then she said, “OK, maybe it’s some other Sam”
Sometimes I’m proposing tentatively.
… one of the reasons why I’m nudging towards that is maybe a large reuse initiative is high return,
We can even put this in as part of the project by maybe offering it to different teams…
Maybe by having dedicated support…
Maybe I’ll drop off. Bye
But sometimes, it’s testable hypotheses.
Uh, maybe I’m getting the names wrong, but I think it was Socrates…
Maybe it’s me, but yeah, I guess…
You know, maybe it’s because I don’t store any of my stuff in…
One of my year’s goals is to run 50 experiments. I’d been doing well until April, and then fizzled out. Partly motivation. Partly a lack of testable hypotheses.
And now, in October, I discovered that I literally speak out one testable hypothesis every call — roughly every 10 minutes I speak! I’m amazed at how blind I’ve been, and how easy it can be to find experiments to test. I guess I need more of a scientific mindset. (Or just plain curiosity.)
The next time I say, “maybe” (or see it in my transcript), I’ll write it down as a hypothesis to test.
Repetitive words cluster
Another discovery was: I tend to pick a phrase and use it repeatedly in calls. For example, I said “let’s say” twelve times in just one call of 15 minutes. I said “main” 20 times over 2 calls of 8 minutes each. I said “cool” 7 times in an 11-minute call.
Repetitive word
# calls
# / call
lets say
1
12
main
2
10
also
1
8
only
2
7.5
correct
7
7.4
in terms of
1
7
alright
3
6.3
that is
3
6
cool
2
5
Clearly it’s something to watch out for. But maybe repetition of words isn’t a bad thing if it’s not the same phrase repeated across calls? (There! I said “maybe”. Let me find out!)
Modulate the pace
In a third of my calls, I need to speed up. In a third of my calls, I need to slow down. (On some calls, I need to do both!)
Clearly, I need to vary my pace a lot more, consciously. It’s not that I talk fast or slow. I do both. But I get stuck in one mode of speaking for too long.
Takeaways
I used to think I was a pretty good speaker. That’s not a bad thought, but it can blind me to feedback and improvements. There’s no end to learning how to speak. Speaker Coach is a great “in-your-face” feedback mechanism. I hope Microsoft adds more features to it.
But what I’m going to do now is:
Every time I say “maybe”, write down an experiment
Most of my major life decisions have involved the distance from Chennai.
In 1992, I wanted to study physics at IIT Kanpur or Kharagpur. My father erased the choices from my admission form and calmly said, “Tick anything in Chennai.” I ticked everything except Chemical Engineering. Prof Kalyanakrishnan saw my rank, said “You’ll get Chemical Engineering”, and ticked it for me. No one heard me say, “But I don’t like Chemical Engineering.”
In 1996, I got job offers from Ramco Systems, Chennai and IBM, Bangalore. I chose IBM partly because my mother said, “Move out of Chennai, else you’ll live in your father’s shadow.”
In 1999, I got offers from IIM Ahmedabad and Bangalore. I picked Bangalore. “You’re declining the best IIM?” my couseller asked. But it was far from Chennai.
In 1999, I lost a scholarship and was insecure during the internship interviews. I accepted my first offer (from Lehman Brothers), though it was in Tokyo. “Well, you’ve already accepted. All the best,” my father said that evening with concern.
In 2000, I declined Lehman Brothers’ pre-placement offer. Tokyo’s too far from Chennai. (60 days of Subway‘s Veggie Delight didn’t help.)
In 2001, my matrimonial profile mentioned just 2 things: “He likes curd rice and plans to settle in Chennai.” My wife, Shobana, ignored it. She had other plans.
By 2005, she convinced me to move to the US or Europe. London’s physically and spiritually closer to Chennai than New York or Seattle. So I joined Infosys Consulting in London.
By 2011, I’d had enough. After 2 months of careful planning, I walked home and told Shobana, “I lost my job. Please don’t tell anyone. Let’s go back to India.” We left 2 weeks later to join Gramener.
In 2019, I attended Landmark’s Forum and told Shobana I’d tricked her. (She didn’t speak to me for a day.) We decided to move again. Not the US or Dubai. Singapore’s physically and spiritually closer to Chennai. She spoke to my father, who was OK to move too.
COVID slowed things down (thankfully), but in 2022, my daughter would start Class 11. That’s a logical time to shift.
So as of 1 Aug 2022, we’re in Singapore as a family. At least for 2 years, until my daughter starts college. After that, let’s see.
My music library has around 1,000 songs (mostly Tamil and Hindi, with some Telugu and English film songs).
I spent this morning tagging them by year with mp3tag. (Manually. You don’t automate the pleasures of life.)
I thought my 1990s collection would be the largest. I was in college, listening to lots of music then. But surprisingly, my collection has grown post the 1990s.
I have 3 guesses why.
Recency bias. I re-built this collection recently. Maybe I forgot older songs?
Digitization bias. Maybe I listened to more songs as the cost of transmission/storage fell?
Worsening standards. Maybe I used to be choosier about music?
Though I’m not sure of the above, there’s another interesting anomaly.
There is a spike in the 1960s.
I don’t need to guess this one. I know why. Those are the songs my parents liked. I grew up hearing them.
The oldest song Tamil song is from Thiruneelakantar (1939). It’s from my father’s collection. I’ve heard it often enough to still enjoy it.
The oldest Hindi song is from Jaal (1952). He has a fondness for Dev Anand’s songs. So do I. This one is a beauty.
The oldest Tamil song my mother introduced me to is from Parasakthi (1952). She used to dance to this song when young.
The earliest Hindi song she introduced me to was from Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baaje (1955). It’s the song I grew up on, and it’s still among my favorites. What a melody!
My wife prefers newer songs. But I have low standards and few preferences. It makes my life rather happy.
So, in celebration of Make Music Day on 21 June, I’m treating myself to 2 weeks of my collection from the 1960s!
On 12 Jan 2012, on a flight back from London, I wrote:
… it was clear in my mind. I would be an entrepreneur. I would create a small company that would probably fold. Then I’d do it again. And again, 10 times, because 1 in 10 companies survive. And finally, I’d be running a small business that’d be called successful by virtue of having survived. A modest, achievable ambition that I had the courage for.
10 years later, Gramener successively crossed 10 employees, 10 clients, 10 years, $10 mn and is on its way to 10 offices.
