Funny

Happiness generator

In my current thrust towards greater management responsibilities, I have discovered a mechanism for generating happiness.

I set up meetings on important topics. That makes me happy — I’m driving something useful.

Often, the meeting gets cancelled. That makes me happy — I’ve more free time.

It’s the perfect perpetual motion machine.

Hiccups

This morning, I was watching an episode of Finley the Fire Engine in which one of the trucks had hiccups. Reminded me of this Calvin & Hobbes — especially Hobbes’ remark in the second strip.

HIC HIC HIC (hic) I have (hic) have (hic) I (hic) I have the (hic) the (hic) ... the hic (hic) the (hic) What is it? What do you have? A dollar?? A new comic book? What?? The (hic hic) I have (hic) the (hic) the hic (hic) the (hic) ... I love doing this.

Help me (hic) get (hic) rid of (hic) these darn (hic) hic (hic) hiccups! How? (hic) Scare me. OK... Our oceans are filled with garbage, we've created a hole in the ozone that's frying the planet, nuclear waste is piling up without any safe way to get rid of it... (hic) I mean, SURPRISE me (hic). That doesn't?! Boy, you're cynical.

Here. Drinking from the far side of the glass is supposed to cure hiccups. The (hic) far side of (hic) the glass? (hic) How do I (hic) do THAT? You have to bend your head way over. Oh (hic) I see. (hic) Thanks. Now I've got the hiccups AND water up my nose. I think most hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

These (hic) hiccups are driving me (hic) crazy. Eat a spoonful of sugar. That's supposed to help. I'll (hic) try anything. CRUNCH SMACK SMACK Well? Are you cured? (hic) Nope. I'd better (hic) eat some more.

My hiccups are gone! They finally went away all by themselves! What a relief! AAUGHH! Did I scare you? Did I cure your hiccups? hic hic hic hic hic