Author name: S Anand

I was scouring various chat rooms on Yahoo, when I hear music stream down one of the Mumbai chat rooms. It looked like fairly professional music. Quite nice. After a while, a message came on the the chat room…

mahomedyaseenkhan: did you hear my music?

I did. So,…

anand_m26blr: Hi maho… I do. Heard you.
mahomedyaseenkhan: hello!!!!!!
mahomedyaseenkhan: was my singing nice
mahomedyaseenkhan: must i sing more songs
anand_m26blr: A bit on the higher side, the pitch.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I said that. Well, frankly, I heard a LADY’s voice, and “mahomedyaseenkhan” sure is no lady. But heck, there’s a whole lot of people who can sing at a lady’s pitch, so I figured, fine. (The truth is revealed later.)

anand_m26blr: The tune was good, though.
anand_m26blr: On the whole, yeah, I’d buy your album
mahomedyaseenkhan: must i sing more song’s
mahomedyaseenkhan: can i sing more songs
anand_m26blr: You sure must!
anand_m26blr: Have you given a performance before?
anand_m26blr: Louder, please!
mahomedyaseenkhan: ill sing just now
mahomedyaseenkhan: let me chat
anand_m26blr: OK, sure.
mahomedyaseenkhan: are u a muslim
mahomedyaseenkhan: if u are u no wats azaan
anand_m26blr: No, and I don’t know what azaan is either…
anand_m26blr: What is it?
mahomedyaseenkhan: in muslim we have 2pray wen something goes
mahomedyaseenkhan: its something that a man sayz 2whole of south afrca’s mulims
mahomedyaseenkhan: muslims
anand_m26blr: Oh, I see.
anand_m26blr: Why’d you ask, BTW?
mahomedyaseenkhan: wat did u c
mahomedyaseenkhan: lol
mahomedyaseenkhan: just joking

I didn’t see the joke. But no harm in smiling…

anand_m26blr: 🙂
mahomedyaseenkhan: k ill sing in 01 min time
mahomedyaseenkhan: im setting my band
anand_m26blr: OK, will await in rapt attention

I was being sarcastic, but the music that I heard was truly professional. I was convinced they guy was either operating a proper band, or was playing recorded music.

mahomedyaseenkhan: howz that 1
anand_m26blr: Way cool, man!!
anand_m26blr: How many of you were there?
anand_m26blr: Or was it all just you!?
mahomedyaseenkhan: me and my friends
mahomedyaseenkhan: 3of uss
mahomedyaseenkhan: which 1u think was me
anand_m26blr: You sure have a great band, boss. Where are you? In Mumbai?
anand_m26blr: I don’t know… a wild guess would be the guitarist. Were you?
mahomedyaseenkhan: i was the 1 that was saying
mahomedyaseenkhan: south afrca
mahomedyaseenkhan: durban
anand_m26blr: Oh, OK.
mahomedyaseenkhan: i swear by the moon and the star
anand_m26blr: What about the accompaniments, then?
mahomedyaseenkhan: ?
anand_m26blr: I mean, who played the instruments?
mahomedyaseenkhan: must i sing anothere 1
mahomedyaseenkhan: my friendz
mahomedyaseenkhan: another song
anand_m26blr: Why not? More importantly, why don’t you record your songs in an album?
mahomedyaseenkhan: this song my sister will sing 4u
mahomedyaseenkhan: with her friendz
mahomedyaseenkhan: nah
mahomedyaseenkhan: its not that good
mahomedyaseenkhan: my sister will sing this song
mahomedyaseenkhan: its called
anand_m26blr: What difference does THAT make? Just record it yaar. Anyway, I’ll be listening.
mahomedyaseenkhan: survivour
mahomedyaseenkhan: k
mahomedyaseenkhan: my sister sang that 1
mahomedyaseenkhan: must i sing
mahomedyaseenkhan: now
mahomedyaseenkhan: wait
mahomedyaseenkhan: 1min
mahomedyaseenkhan: usts a move
anand_m26blr: Hey, I didn’t hear the last one…
mahomedyaseenkhan: ill tell my sister 2sing it again
anand_m26blr: OK.
mahomedyaseenkhan: are u listnin
mahomedyaseenkhan: 2myn
anand_m26blr: Can’t hear a thing.
anand_m26blr: OK, will wait.
mahomedyaseenkhan: did u hear myn
mahomedyaseenkhan: its called
anand_m26blr: I heard a voice, but no song…
mahomedyaseenkhan: it wasn’t me
anand_m26blr: I mean, just a phrase…
anand_m26blr: Not a song.
mahomedyaseenkhan: wait
mahomedyaseenkhan: ill tell my sis
mahomedyaseenkhan: sing her 1 again
anand_m26blr: Just let me know when she starts, and I’ll tell you if I can hear her.
mahomedyaseenkhan: she will start now
anand_m26blr: Can’t hear anything yet.
mahomedyaseenkhan: now
anand_m26blr: Can’t hear a thing.
mahomedyaseenkhan: can u hear
anand_m26blr: What’s happening?
anand_m26blr: OK, can hear her.
anand_m26blr: Hey, sounds great. Exactly like the original.

I wasn’t kidding. I thought they were playing me some tape. Anyway, listening to original albums isn’t my way of spending a weekend anyway.

anand_m26blr: OK, boss, I’ve got to push now. Have to eat. Let’s chat some other time…
anand_m26blr: will look forward to it.
anand_m26blr: Really sorry I couldn’t chat longer.
anand_m26blr: Bye!

Ah, but our friend is persistent.

mahomedyaseenkhan: how about after u eat
anand_m26blr: I’m going home after that.
mahomedyaseenkhan: k
anand_m26blr: How about next weekend? That’s when I’ll get online again.
mahomedyaseenkhan: friday night
anand_m26blr: OK. Bye!

Needless to say, I took several months before I logged in.