Year: 2007

Most bookmarked pages

These are the most bookmarked pages on my site:

  1. My home page
  2. Excel tips
  3. Calvin & Hobbes quotes (I typed them all)
  4. Indian torrents (I have a search engine for Indian torrents)
  5. Tamil Transliterator (Lets you type Tamil in English)
  6. Tamil songs quiz
  7. Movie quote quiz
  8. My best links
  9. Top 10 lists

But this post is not about these links.

It’s about how I found this out.

Think about it… how could I know what pages have been bookmarked? The browser doesn’t send any information about bookmarks.

Some months ago, I moved away from Google Analytics mainly to have more control over tracking visitors. Among other things, I track referrers. When you click on any page and go to another one, the second page knows the first page you came from. That first page is the referrer.

So I know every page people clicked on to get to my site. Usually it’s Google. Sometimes it’s someone’s blog. Sometimes, it’s blank.

The blank referrers either indicate that the browser has blocked the referrer page, or that the person didn’t visit any page before mine. The former is rare (less than 1%). So, realistically, a blank referrer has either the person typed in the URL, or bookmarked it.

To make sure, I did a quick survey over the weekend. Those who came to my page without a referrer saw a survey form, asking where they came from. Almost all of them had either bookmarked or typed my page. The typists went directly to my home page. All the other links you see above are bookmarks.

So all I had to do was count the number of hits for each page with blank referrers. That’s the list above.

Absence of information can be a powerful indicator too.

How to hurt the RIAA

How to hurt the RIAA.

… I think its high time that the RIAA is not referenced by its name but rather by its members. Imagine how much it would hurt someone like Sony if each time a bad article, comment or story reached the masses it had the words representing Sony in the title. Enough of that would force a brand to leave the RIAA group because it was too damaging to their brand name.

Here are the RIAA members, headed by EMI, Sony, Universal and Warner.

How to discover new functions in Excel

Firstly, believe that Excel can do anything.

It’s true. Excel is a functional programming language. Not with the same power as some programming languages, maybe. But power is just a way of making a little go a long way (power = succinctness, according to Paul Graham). And Fred Brooks, in No Silver Bullet, argues:

I believe the single most powerful software-productivity strategy for many organizations today is to equip the computer-naive intellectual workers who are on the firing line with personal computers and good generalized writing, drawing, file, and spreadsheet programs and then to turn them loose.

Next, believe that Excel probably already has the function you’re looking for. Excel 2003 has over 300 functions. Presumably these are the most popular functions people use. Fair chance your function is one of them. Excellent chance that you don’t know about it.

So first, search through Excel’s help. I’ll admit, it’s not the best way to do it. I’ve learnt a trick to help me out. I search for a function that does similar stuff, and see the “See Also” section. Let me give you an example.

Once, we were modelling the revenues of a leasing company. Their finance manager had prepared a model to calculate the interest accruing from a lease. We needed the interest across several leases. With his model, we’d have to create 1 sheet for each lease. We were going to model thousands of leases. Clearly impossible.

Since I knew PMT could calculate the EMI, I checked the help on PMT, clicked the “See Also” link, and found a bunch of related functions. This, among others, lists the IPMT function, which can be used to calculate the interest at a single stroke, and a bunch of other useful functions. (That’s how I first learnt about IPMT.

Related functions in Excel

But the really useful link is the “Financial functions” one, which lists every single financial function in Excel. That’s worth going through in detail. In fact, there are many such categories that are useful: database functions, information functions, lookup and reference functions and text functions have some unexplored gems. Check out the List of worksheet functions on Excel.

How to convert APR to interest rate

If you don’t know your interest rate (IRR), but only have your APR, there is a way of figuring out the actual interest rate on Excel.

For this, you need to know your EMI (monthly payment), duration of the loan (number of months) and principal (amount you borrowed).

Let’s assume your EMI is 2,000 and you are paying over 5 years (60 months) on a loan of 100,000. Use Excel’s RATE function. In this example:

=RATE(60, 2000, -100000) * 12 = 7.42%

I multiplied by 12 to convert the monthly interest rate to annual. Since the payment is in months (60 months), Excel returns the interest rate in months as well.

Note that this method does not require the APR. Just the EMI, duration and principal will suffice. Everyday Loans can help those of you who are not very financially literate, there’s no shame in getting help from experts.

Classical Ilayaraja 11

This is the 11th of 15 articles titled Classical Ilayaraja appeared on Usenet in the 90s.
I’ve added links to the songs, so you can listen as you read.
You could also try my Tamil song search.

V.G.Pannerdass has got an experimental animal in his V.G.P Golden Beach near Madras! That is his “goorka”. He pays that watchman only to stand near the gate with an expressionless face. Whatever the passersby do, he would stand there with the same old expressionless face! Let Kamal Hassan do all the “seshtai” that he does in the last scene of Moonram Pirai, the VGP goorka’s mask like face would show neither happiness nor sadness! He’d neither cry nor laugh. The VGP management is so proud of this guy that it is even ready to bet a hefty prize money if that would motivate somebody to make this guy cry or laugh. I cannot help wondering at VGP’s morbid taste in having this kind of a person at their gate.

Now, can we consider the usage of raagas to make this person change his emotions? If Ilayaraja goes before this person and sings his Valli song (enna enna kanavu) or Payanangal Mudivadhillai song (vaigaraiyil) in Subhapanthuvarali raagam, would it make his affect sad? It perhaps would, because some of the raagas indeed have a powerful negative effect on one’s affect, causing him to go to the lows! Let SPB go before this person and sing his Mayuri song (idhu oru mananaatiya medai) in the raagam Brindavana Saranga, or L.Vaidyanathan sing his veeNaiyadi nee enakku (Ezhavadu Manidhan) in Kalyani, would it make his affect happy? It perhaps would, because some raagas indeed have a very powerful positive effect on one’s affect, causing him to go to the highs! (This is what music therapy basically aims at, right?). Now, the question is, are there any raagas that can really make this person laugh or at least to open his pursed lips and give a smile ?!

The human species is very conceited that only it can laugh! It has concluded that the sense of humour is an essential human quality. Maybe, during the innumerable years of evolution, it is the only species that has somehow successfully learnt to expressively manifest its inner humourous feelings. Just because the animals do not widely open their mouth and laugh (as many of us do often, much to the disgust of our neighbours!), the old ancestral members of our species seem to have concluded that the animals do not have any sense of humour. I at least know of one another species that can express its humour well! Buy a pocket of “kadalamittai” and start ascending the stairs of Trichi Malaikotai to have Lord Ganesha’s darshan. Those garrulous monkeys ‘gumbal’ there will stealthly follow you and at one oppurtune moment “rag” you and snatch away your kadalamittai with a swift agile attack! While they recede away from you (or rather you recede away from them) the victims report noticing a kinda derisive laughter by the monkeys! Anyway, if raagas can cause sadness and crying, can it also cause a person to laugh!

Music directors often face this challenge, when directors tell them a comical situation in their movie and ask for a tune. M.S.Viswanathan has done a fantastic job in the movie Bale Pandiya. The song is neeyE enakku enRum. MSV tuned that song in chaste Sudha Danyasi. The situation of that song is a very comical one, Sivaji Ganesan and first class actor M.R.Radha vying with each other in their jest. The lyrics too is quite comical. But, the question is, does the Sudha Danyasi raagam of the song have an element of humour in it! Probably not.

Ilayaraja too has used pure classical raagas to suit humourous situations. In Thambiku Endha Ooru, Madhavi is a city girl. Hero Rajini is a country brute! Madhavi happens to come to Rajini’s village once. And now, even a small “paapa” with a rubber nipple in its mouth will tell the rest of the story: Rajini will sing a song critisizing Madhavi, Madhavi will get irritated, then she will fight with Rajini and vice versa, and when the villain comes, both of them will start loving each other and finally, the extras in police dress will come and arrest the villain….! Can you try to guess what raagam Ilayaraja has used for the comical song! Arabhi!

Arabhi is a Sankarabharanam janyam. Its arohanam and avarohanam are Sa Ri2 Ma1 Pa Da2 Sa; Sa Ni3 Da2 Pa Ma Ga3 Ri2 Sa. It is a very pleasant raagam. It is closely related (sanchara-wise) to Devakandhari. There are no cinema songs in Devakandhari. But, in the pre-Ilayaraja period we have got one Arabhi song. That is Erikkarai mElE. I guess it has been tuned by the then giant K.V.Mahadevan. T.M.S starts the song in his “ganeer” voice in the madhyama sthayi dhaivatham. Ilayaraja’s first Arabhi song is “aasai kiLiyE arai kilO puLiyE..”

Malaysia Vasudevan has sung this song. He is one of the best singers of our time, who has been appropriately used only by Ilayaraja. Malaysia does not seem to have got any proper training in classical music. His voice is like a resume with record of BA (history) from Madras University and 2 months of computer training in NIIT! If you give it to a proper bodyshopper it will come to California. Otherwise it will just go to teach 7th standard history text in Madras Corporation school! (Thou shall not take offence, dear resume!) Like Rahman uses the “thagara dappa” voice of Suresh Peters wonderfully and sells it, Ilayaraja has used Malaysia’s unpolished voice excellently in many of his highly classical songs. aasai kiLiyE is one such instance….The song starts like this Ma Pa Da Sa, Da Sa Da Pa, Pa Pa Da Pa Ma Ga Ri Sa Ri, Ri Ma Pa Da Da Pa Da Sa….It is a fantastic song, giving all the raaga-lakshanam of Aarabi in a very pure form. Even though the avarohanam of Aarabi just lists all the swaras of Sankarabaranam plainly, there is a specific way by which you got to use those swaras to make it sound Aarabi. The temporal duration (karvai) of Ma is usually protracted while the gandaram is just touched upon very rapidly. Thus Ma Ga Ri Sa is sung like Ma….GaRi Sa. Also, we can practically omit the usage of nishadam and the raagam would still be unblemished. Ilayaraja has not used Ni in this song. The lyrics of this song is funny.

aasai kiLiyE arai kilO puLiyE
azhugina thakkaaLiyE
mEyura kOzhi ellaam aaguradhu kariyE
adiyE en arumai thavakkaLaiyE

If the hero taunts the heroine by calling her as “spoiled tomato” then it is understandable. When the hero calls her as “half kg of tamarind”, what does it mean? But, that is how the song goes…. Now, lately Ilayaraja has given two more Aarabi songs. One song goes like mannavanE mannavanE manasukkEththa thennavanE (Thandhu Vitten Ennai). I think it is a Vijayakanth movie song. The song has been sung by SPB and Janaki. It is a very melodious song. He has used Ni in this song. The last Aarabi that he has given comes in the movie Pudhupatti Ponnuthayee. The song is madhurai vaazhum meenakshiyE. This is also an unbelievably classic song sung by K.J.Yesudoss and Janaki. One can very easily learn Aarabi with the help of these cinema songs! But, does Arabi have an element of humour? Probably not.

Carnatic music is like Choolaimedu 24 hours polyclinic in Madras. You go there with just symptoms of common cold. But the Doctor there (who has not yet cleared the subjects that he failed in final MBBS) has lots of surprises for you. He says that you are very week and almost coerces you to have the supposedly invigorating 5% glucose drip (which hardly has a total of 25 gm of glucose in it!). Carnatic music has got lot more surprises to give you than this Doc! There is a raagam which has got the same arohanam and avarohanam as Aarabi (Sa Ri Ma Pa Da Sa; Sa Da Pa Ma Ga Ri Sa; Since we can sing Aarabi without using Ni, we can say so) The raagam is Sama, another janyam of Sankarabaranam. Even though Aarabi and Sama are swara-wise identical, they are totally two different raagas sanchara wise. The difference comes in the way we deal with the gandaram. In Aarabi, the Ga is just touched upon while we go from Ma to Ri. In Sama, we can be little more liberal (time-wise) with Ga. Also, there are certain special prayogams in Sama like Ma Pa Da Ma. So, these minute details make a drastic difference in these raagas.

MSV is the only one who has beautifully used this wonderful raagam, Sama in cinema. He has given two Samas. One is in the movie Sirai. The story is a revolutionary plot charecterizing the pathos of Lakshmi, an innocent rape victim. She is the wife of a Brahmin priest, Prasanna. After the rape the priest finds her repulsive, and she decides to go and live with the rapist (Rajesh)! In the first few scenes there is a song to portray the kind of love the priest and his wife have for each other. The song is naan paadi kondE iruppEn in the raagam Sama. Oh, boy! What a song! What a classic Sama piece! Vani Jayaram has sung this song. The heroine says:

saahithyam naanaaga sangeetham neeyaaga
naal thOrum isai archchanai
en paadal nee kEtka un kaNgal enai paarkka
naanE un varadhakshinai

How beautifully the poet (Kannadasan?) has written about their love. Later, after the rape, the hypocrisy of the hero’s love gets fully exposed. Very rarely, we get to see such classic song, classically acted and classically picturised (director: R.C.Shakthi). The second Sama that MSV has given is mounaththil viLaiyaadum manasaakshiyE (Nool Veli) This song has been sung by Dr. M. Balamurali Krishna. It is a great song. These are all great contributions of MSV to Thamizh cinema music.

Recently, in the movie Sathi Leelavathi there is a very humourous song. The song has been sung by Kamal Hassan himself. This maarugO maarugO is in the raagam Kaanada. Kaanada is a major gana raagam. It is probably now less sung in the katcheris than about a few decades ago (the popularity of a raagam seems to go through a cyclical change through years!) Kaanada is a janyam of Karaharapriya. Its arohanam and avarohanam are Sa Ri2 Ga2 Ma1 Pa Ma1 Da2 Ni2 Sa; Sa Ni2 Pa Ma1 Ga2 Ma1 Ri2 Sa. The key prayogam that gives Kaanada its identity is Pa Ma Ga Ma Ri Sa. Ilayaraja has followed the grammer of this raagam sincerely in the pallavi and charanam. But the interlude music is not very good. Because, he used this raagam for a humourous situation, does it mean that it has an element of humour in it! Probably not.

Earlier, he used Kaanada in a very majestic way in the movie Sindhu Bhairavi. The song is poomaalai vaangi vandhaan. Yesudoss! With the drone of the Thamboora, and the usage of very minimal instruments, it is a fantastic song. Rahman has few Kaanada’s to his credit too. First, pudhu veLLai mazhai in the movie Roja. There is another number kisu kisu nammakul kidaiyaadhu (Manidha Manidha). There is a liberal Ni3 in this song. Deva scored a Kaanada song too (thennamara thoppukullE kuyilEMichael Raj) Earlier, how can we forget the old gem mullai malar mElE by the music directors of yesteryears. Dharbari Kaanada is closely related to Kaanada. While Kaanada is the janyam of the 22nd melam (Karaharapriya), Dharbari Kaanada is a janyam of the 20th melam (Nadabhairavi). Thus we use sudha daivatham (Da1) instead of Da2 (sathuchrathi daivatham) in Darbari Kaanada. Ilayaraja has a few songs in this raagam. The best example is aagaaya vennilaavE in the movie Arangetra Velai. Uma Ramanan and Jayachandran (or Yesudoss?). Uma Ramanan is another unfortunate singer (like Malaysia). Only Ilayaraja has exploited her marvellous voice to the maximum capacity. Recently he has used her in Paatu Paadava (nil nil nil; an half boiled Vasantha) and in Pudhupatti Ponnuthayee (oor urangum nErathilE; a superb Hindholam). Perhaps his first Darbari Kaanada is isai mEdaiyil (Illamai Kalangal) sung by SPB and Janaki. There is another one in the movie Mounam Sammadham (kalyaana thEnnila) by Yesudoss.

A couple of years ago, cinematographer Ashok Kumar directed a Hindi movie called as Kamaagni. Reportedly he had sexploited the heroine from top to bottom as the story was some kind of abstract Freudian theme! (P.C.Sriram did the same to Ishwariya in his movie Meera. Is there any association between camera-men turned into directors and hard-core sexploitation?) My brother tells me that there is a very good Darbari Kaanada song in that movie. And, it seems Ilayaraja has done a very rich re-recording in that movie, mostly in Darbari Kaanada!

There is a song in the movie Enga Ooru Paatukaaran in which (I presume) that our village hero “pasu nesan” Ramarajan milks his cow (the meaning of the song goes like that). I don’t know if that scene was supposed to be comic in that movie, but since Ramarajan would have mostly come in his “touser”, probably it was a comedy scene! Can you imagine what raagam Illagaraja has used to tune this song azhagE nee pErazhagi? Kunthalavarali! Look at the selection of raagam! Kunthalavarali is a Karaharapriya janyam. Sa Ma1 Pa Da2 Ni2 Da2 Sa; Sa Ni2 Da2 Pa Ma1 Sa. He has used this raagam very beautifully in this song sung by SPB. Particularly the thara sthayi Sa Ma prayogas are very good (veerangalum dheerangalum…) Maatai paal karakaradhuku Kunthalavarali kEkudha! I don’t know if there are any more kunthalavarali songs in cinema music.

Man is essentially a visual animal. He gets most of the information from the external world as a tremendous fund of visual input. The visual information interacts with his intellect and can cause all different kinds of emotions. Just look at the “heart-wrecking” scene of an old thaatha accidently walking on a banana skin and falling on the ground! It might be a real humourous scene! Just look at a self-assumed hero (trying to show film in front of a ladies hostel with his 2 stroke Kawasaki Bajaj!) skid and fall on the ground! It might be a real humourous scene. Strangely, just auditory input alone doesn’t seem to have the capacity to evoke man’s sense of humour! Sure that music can cause sadness and happiness. But, humour?! Recently, Music Television showed Beavis and Butt-head farting in public, with a fantastic “background” score! That music indeed seemed to be very humourous. But, if I had put off the TV and let my room-mates hear that “music” alone, I doubt if they would have at the least made a smile!

Lakshminarayanan Srirangam Ramakrishnan,
Internal Medicine Department,
Brackenridge Hospital,
Austin, Tx 78701.

Arrested in Paris

In November 2000, I visited Paris one weekend. Two classmates, Anand Binani and Ram Venkat were studying there, and we roamed around the city.

At around 6:00pm, we went over to Montmartre. It’s up a hill, and there’s a cable car that takes you up there. We went all the way up, and got out when a lady behind us asked:

“Is that yours?

We’d left something behind. Went back to retrieve it. The car was almost leaving for it’s return journey. We just got out in time…

… to be confronted by the French Police.

Now, this is a scary thing. Foreign country. I don’t speak a word of French. And I was dressed like a thug.

The policemen didn’t say a word. One of them just made us stand right a the corner of the entrance to the cable car — politely at first, and then physically, when he realised we didn’t understand a word of French.

Anand Binani Ram Venkat at Montmartre near the cable car where we were caught by police

Now he goes on the radio. He hasn’t said a word to us yet that we could understand.

After a minute, he comes back, asking for our passports. I hand mine over. So does Anand Binani.

Ram Venkat doesn’t have his passport on him.

Shit!

While he was panicking and I was rooted to the spot and Anand Binani was trying to explain something to the policeman, he walked away with our two passports.

Busy talking on the radio.

Relaying the names on our passports.

Worried that they were both “Anand”s. (We could here that repeated many times.)

Something about wearing a jacket. (We were all wearing jackets.)

Five minutes pass. In the meantime, we had various theories. Three terrorists had illegally entered the country and were going to blow up Montmartre, and we looked like them. Or, an Asian student group was going to murder a senior polician. Or maybe we just looked like the mug-shots on their Top 10 Most Wanted list and just about like someone who’d end up on the internet on websites like https://www.checkpeople.com/reverse-phone-lookup.

In my case, I didn’t even have a French student visa. Just a standard Schengen tourist visa, with a UK student visa. I wasn’t even studying in the country. If I were deported, would he put me back in the UK or in India? Which embassy would I have to speak to if he arrested me?

Five minutes later, he comes back, hands us our passports, and walks off.

Just like that. No goodbye. No “You’re free to go”. No “Don’t ever do that again”. Just walks off.

We just stood there for a couple of minutes, got our breaths back, promised never to venture without a passport looking like thugs, took a snap as evidence, and went on inside the Montmartre chapel, followed by a far more educative visit to Pigale.

Sex shop at Pigale. Paris

Difference between interest rate and APR

When I moved to the UK, I was surprised to see mortgages advertised for 4.9%. ICICI Bank’s HiSAVE account was offering 5.15% interest on savings. So if I borrowed at 4.9% and invested at 5.15%, I can make money for nothing!

The catch, of course, is that the mortgage was 4.9% APR. Annual Percentage Rate is the total interest you pay on the initial amount you borrow, divided by the number of years. This has nothing to do with the Internal Rate of Return, or the regular interest rate we know of.

APR is supposed to make it easy to compare loans by including the upfront fixed costs, this way you’ll what mortgage financing option is the right one for you. Personally, I still prefer the IRR calculation.

Here’s an example. Say you take a 10-year loan for 100,000 at an interest rate (IRR) of 10%, paid annually. Say in the first year you repay 10,000 of that 100,000. But you’d also have to repay the interest: 10% of 100,000, which is 10,000. So your first year payment is 10,000 + 10,000 = 20,000.

Next year, you repay another 10,000 of the loan, plus interest. But the interest is now on 90,000, since you already repaid 10,000. So your payment is 19,000. The next year, it goes down to 18,000, and so on until in the last year, you have a balance of 10,000, which you pay back with 1,000 interest.

Year Principal You repay Interest Total
1 100000 10000 10000 20000
2 90000 10000 9000 19000
3 80000 10000 8000 18000
4 70000 10000 7000 17000
5 60000 10000 6000 16000
6 50000 10000 5000 15000
7 40000 10000 4000 14000
8 30000 10000 3000 13000
9 20000 10000 2000 12000
10 10000 10000 1000 11000
Total 55000 155000

This means you’re paying an interest of 55,000 across 10 years, on a loan of 100,000. So your annual percentage rate (APR) is 5.5%. Get it?

So really, you’re not paying an interest of 5.5%. You’re paying 10%. But because you’re paying back the loan, your interest amount comes down. The APR makes it look like you’re paying less.

As a rule of thumb, the real interest rate is a little less than twice the APR.

How to calculate principal repayment

Answer: use the CUMPRINC function in Excel

Say you take a 10-year lease for 100,000 at an interest rate (IRR) of 10%, paid annually. The installment for this lease is 16,275. You can calculate this using the PMT function in Excel:

PMT(10%, 10, 100000) = -16275

You’ve made 5 payments over 5 years. At this point, if you decide you want to repay the full lease, how much do you have to repay? In other words, what’s the principal outstanding after 5 years?

This is not trivial calculation. The answer is not 50,000. In fact, it is 61,693. Here’s how it works.

Year Balance Principal Interest EMI
1 100000 6275 10000 16275
2 93725 6902 9373 16275
3 86823 7592 8682 16275
4 79231 8351 7923 16275
5 70880 9187 7088 16275
6 61693 10105 6169 16275
7 51588 11116 5159 16275
8 40472 12227 4047 16275
9 28245 13450 2825 16275
10 14795 14795 1480 16275

The EMI contains an interest component as well as a principal component. The interest component is always 10% of the balance — because the interest rate is 10%. The remaining amount is the principal repayment.

In the first year, you pay an interest of 10% x 100,000 = 10,000, and the remaining 6,275 (from your 16,275 EMI) is the principal repayment. This brings the balance down to 93,725.

The next year, you pay an interest of 10% x 93,725 = 9,373, and the remaining 6,902 (from your 16,275 EMI) is the principal repayment. This brings the balance down to 86,823. And so on..

So after 5 years, you just have to repay 61,693, the balance after 5 payments.

Excel has two functions: PPMT and IPMT that calculate the principal and interest components. For example:

PPMT(10%, 1, 10, -100000) = 6275 (principal payment in year 1)
IPMT(10%, 1, 10, -100000) = 10000 (interest payment in year 1)

Excel also has the cumulative versions of these functions: CUMIPMT and CUMPRINC. You can calculate the balance outstanding using the CUMPRINC function. For example:

CUMPRINC(10%, 10, 100000, 1, 5, 0) = -38307 (principal paid in first 5 years)

The balance outstanding is 100,000 – 38,307 = 61,693


As you saw, the balance you have to repay midway is usually more than half the amount you borrowed. This is because you spend most of the first half paying off the interest. The typical shape of the balance outstanding over time is below.

Balance outstanding in a lease, over time

The typical shape of the principal and interest component of the EMI over time is shown below.

Principal and interest components of an EMI, over time

While this may take customers by surprise, this has confused banks as well, and has an interesting side-effect, thanks to Basel 2. Most banks use the book value of the lease for risk calculations. This is typically based on a straight-line depreciation. So after 5 years, the lease is worth 50,000 in the books, and they would have to provide capital for that 50,000. But Basel 2 now says they need to provide for the principal outstanding, which is 61,693 — meaning banks have to provide more capital than they have been so far. (I wouldn’t be surprised if many banks don’t know this.)