Year: 2006
Pallu baby
Hilarious post on Pallu baby. Nice read, Karthik. Stay on course. Here’s his follow-up (which I can’t find on his blog any more).
Confluence 2005 is happening and there are students from so many B-schools who have come down to IIM-A. Some of my friends from BITS, now studying in other B-schools, have come down as well.
Yesterday I happened to get a call from one such friend of mine who’s studying in ISB (with whom I wasnt in touch at all). After a couple of hi-bye statements, the first thing she asked me was “How’s Pallu baby? And why arent you blogging at all? Your blog is very widely read in ISB. Everyone knows your blog in ISB. That Pallu baby post was circulated around like crazy.”
I felt a pang of guilt when I thought about all those who check my URL every day only to find the same 2-month old post on it. So I thought I should let you guys in on the post-Pallu-baby-disaster developments.
(For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about, read about the Pallu-baby episode in the following post, Fool’s Proof)
Now, I didnt really talk about how we survived the whole thing in that post. Well, luckily for us, we had a couple of other messages between us which passed around the assignment and had nothing scandalous written on them. So, we could take print outs of those messages and submit it to the prof.
I was basking in all the appreciation I was receiving for my Pallu-baby post just after writing it when the phone rang.
“Hey Atul, wassup?”
“I just read your post. Damn funny man.”
“Ha ha. Seriously dude. What an episode!”
“But did you realize one thing ?”
“What?”
“The print outs you submitted to the profs were messages from you to the others.”
“Okay. So?”
“You have your blog’s URL in your signature.”
“SHIT !!!”
After getting over my initial shock, I congratulated myself on the second blunder in two days. Then I contemplated on whether I should delete that post. After a brief struggle between ego and sense, ego prevailed (sense never stood a chance anyway) and the post prevailed.
Besides I justified it with the theory that profs wouldnt really have the patience to go over the stuff students write in their blogs. (Actually, the prof did make some comment about how we guys go home and talk about women and happened to look at me when she said that. The whole class roared with laughter, leaving me struggling to find a place to bury my head into).
A few weeks back, when the mid-terms were going on, I met BV on the road. He greeted me in an interesting fashion.
“Hey, what the fuck did you tell Pallu baby?”
“Huh ?”
“Did you tell her anything about the blog?”
“Are you crazy? Why would I do that?”
“She was the invigilator today. She almost accosted me and said ‘Hey Mister. What did you write in your blog?'”
“What !” I exclaimed. “What did you say?”
“What the fuck, I told her I dont blog. Then she said, ‘Oh yeah, go ask Karthik Laxman'”
“Wait a minute. It doesnt make sense at all. If she knew I was the one who wrote it, why didnt she come to me directly? Hell, I have my snap on the blog.”
“Beats me, man.”
“Thats because she likes you, BV. She really does. I have been observing all those coy looks she gives you whenever she bumps into you.”
“Shut up, dude. I am gonna whip your ass if anything happens to our ID grades because of this.”
We laughed and parted ways.
Finally she came to know.
A part of me however felt betrayed. After all that I have done for her, is this how she thanks me ? Does she have any idea how famous she is the world over? My estimates are that at least 2000 people know about her. Okay, so what if she’s known as Pallu baby and not by her real name?
One of the major motivations of my blog-readers from ISB in coming to IIM-A for Confluence was to meet Pallu baby. 🙂 I wonder how many more people have been motivated to participate in Confluence because of her. I am thinking of creating a counter especially for these people. I’ll probably call the counter “The Pallu baby interaction cell”.
I have my own theories on why she’d not be too happy with the developments. And I would probably attach 70 % of the blame to you guys – my esteemed blog readers. Following were some of the comments you guys put up to the post.
“Oka, you are a naughty boy. No hard feelings, but we have a job to do as TAs.
Moreover, its fun to make you guys cringe!
Well, until the next assignment…
-Pallu baby aka Pallavi Desai (Name changed intentionally)”And this,
“was i looking pretty in the class today?? I kept looking in your direction but you were only paying attention to the girl sitting next to you. What is her name again?? I am quite jealous
-Pallu baby.”And soon there were so many wanna be Pallu baby commentors on my blog.
“Wats all this non sense going on in your blog. Who are all these people pretending to be me. As for you, stop staring at me in the class, especially with that cheap smirk on your face. Come to mu office tomorrow and we shal talk this over in detail. Its completely unacceptable.
– I am the Real Pallu Baby.”“Hey..’the original’ is a definate fake. I am the real one and i really admire your writing style.Thanks for writing about me
– Pallu Baby”And this one probably takes the cake.
“you keep talking bout pallu baby,all the while ignoring me (the other TA in ID). Wait till i grade your end term exams. Or else you could always ask me out.
love struck ,
– Prajakta (name changed to protect identity)”She must have digested all these in silence. And then one day things would have come to a point where she simply couldnt take it anymore. Something very inconsequential would have happened and all her pent up feelings would have burst out. And the person who would be responsible for this inconsequential incident could be someone totally irrelevant as well. Something similar to the squirrel with the nut in Ice Age. (By the way, I dont know if thats a squirrel for sure. I just picked the closest animal).
Earlier in the day she confronted BV about the issue, one of my section-mates happened to bump into her on the road. As they were walking towards each other, they smiled at each other in recognition. And then when he was close enough to be heard by her, he said,
“Hi Pallavi”.
Channel economics
We were working with the financing subsidiary of a conglomerate. They had two divisions that gave loans for buying vehicles (mostly trucks, but also cars). One division used the direct channel. They had direct marketing agents (DMAs) who were paid a commission for getting the contract, and the division collected the monthly installments. The other used the dealer channel. The dealers would get the contract as well as collect the installments.
They wanted to cut costs, and asked us which channel had more flab. Since the company used IRR (internal rate of return), we defined the operating cost as the reduction in IRR. For example:
12% IRR paid by customer (through monthly installments)
9% IRR to subsidiary after reducing the cost of processing his loan
3% is therefore the operating cost.
After two months of analysis, we confirmed the subsidiary’s own opinion: the dealer channel had lower operating cost. The direct channel’s operating cost was 3.8% while the the dealer channel’s was 2.7%.
So we said the direct channel is flabby.
But the direct channel guys didn’t agree, and fought every inch of the decision.
“Do you think these figures are wrong?” I asked.
“Look, all we’re saying is, we KNOW they pay out huge commissions to dealers. We KNOW they’re overstaffed. They just CAN’T have a lower operating cost.”
I was tasked with resolving the issue. After a month of breaking the cost every single way, something interesting emerged. If we measured the operating cost per contract in Rupees, both divisions had the same cost per contract: Rs 18,500. That is, the total cost incurred in getting the customer and servicing the loan over the lifetime of the loan was Rs 18,500 in both divisions.
It turned out that the size of the loan was different: the dealer channel was still lending mainly for trucks, while the direct channel had entered the high growth passenger car market. Cars cost less than trucks. So while the dealer channel was paying 18,500 and getting interest on a large truck, the direct channel was paying the same 18,500 for less interest on smaller cars.
This is a strategic decision. The subsidiary had chosen to enter the car business knowing it would be less profitable but have higher growth.
But the story had a twist.
The 18,500 of operating cost per contract broke down as follows:
| Dealer | Direct | |
|---|---|---|
| Getting the loan | 5,000 | 7,000 |
| Servicing the loan | 13,500 | 11,500 |
The dealers are paid a servicing cost as a percentage of the loan. Servicing in the dealer channel is a variable cost. The direct channel, however, employs its own people, and incurs a higher cost only when it hires more people. About half of the costs are fixed. If the business doubles, the number of people you need increases only by about 50%. Servicing in the direct channel is more a fixed cost.
This subsidiary was planning to double their business in two years. At that point, the dealer channel would still cost Rs 18,500 per contract, but the direct channel would have come down to around Rs 13,000. So, going forward, the direct channel is really cheaper!
We told them to try and reduce the dealer commission.
Postscript: The subsidiary still went ahead and cut costs aggressively in the direct channel. It’s easier to fire your own people than to tell 500 dealers to reduce their commission, especially when you need them to also sell your trucks.
Movie quote quiz
These are movie quotes. How many titles can you guess? (Use IMDb titles.)
Score: 0 / 40
| I’ll be back! | |
| He is the one! | |
| Hakuna Matata! | |
| Get off my plane! | |
| We got a bleeder! | |
| I didn’t kill my wife! | |
| I see dead people… | |
| Somebody stop me! | |
| Hasta la vista, baby! | |
| Beam me up, Scotty. | |
| Show me the money! | |
| I make this look good. | |
| To infinity and beyond. | |
| There can be only one. | |
| Here endeth the lesson. | |
| What can I say? I’m a spy. | |
| You can’t handle the truth! | |
| May the force be with you. | |
| Carpe Diem! Seize the day! | |
| Houston, we have a problem… | |
| Yippie kay-yay, mother@#!%er. | |
| Life is like a box of chocolates… | |
| Vanity… definitely my favourite sin. | |
| Mr. Hadley. Do you trust your wife? | |
| I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse. | |
| Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. | |
| You make me want to be a better man. | |
| How do you solve a problem like Maria? | |
| Where does he get those wonderful toys? | |
| Everyone’s innocent in here, don’t you know that? | |
| Actually, I’m a chemical superfreak, but I still need a gun. | |
| I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request… Means ‘no.’ | |
| You are without a doubt the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of. | |
| Do you understand the words that are coming out my mouth? | |
| I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me. | |
| In case I don’t see ya…good afternoon, good evening and good night. | |
| You are Horse and Hound’s favourite actress, you and Black Beauty tied. | |
| Supposed I offered you one million dollars for one night with your wife. | |
| How can you do that, look at me like you haven’t seen me everyday for 16 years. | |
| Fear is the path to the dark side, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. |
Cats are fooled by HDTV
Cats are fooled by HDTV. Our cat tends to ignore normal TV completely. Guess HDTV looks real enough.
How to do what you love
Excellent article by Paul Graham on How to do what you love.
[the] new definition of work [is] to make some original contribution to the world, and in the process not to starve.
I think the best test is to try to do things that would make your friends say wow.
If you admire two kinds of work equally, but one is more prestigious, you should probably choose the other. Your opinions about what’s admirable are always going to be slightly influenced by prestige, so if the two seem equal to you, you probably have more genuine admiration for the less prestigious one.
The test of whether people love what they do is whether they’d do it even if they weren’t paid for it
US Zip Code map
US Zip Codes Map. Type in the ZIP code, and interactively see which areas it maps to.
Hacking wireless networks
Hacking wireless networks. How to get access to secure networks, and how to see what others are doing on their wireless networks.